I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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