You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
