well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
