I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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