fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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