tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
