good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
