Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
