Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
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