Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
