I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
