I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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