I must be too annoying 4 u.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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