Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
