Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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