Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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