I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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