Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
