I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
