Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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