erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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