I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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