Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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