i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
