To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
