I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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