I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Randomize
