Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
