I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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