well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
we should paint friendship bongs
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