it's too hot outside to masturbate.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
