i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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