so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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