i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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