thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
