O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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