so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
When are your genitals available?
I have already put on my inside pants.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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