Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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