Swine flu. Run for my life!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
