The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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