Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
