There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
