Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
