Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
