I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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