I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
