So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
