I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
