Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
