my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
