She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize