Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He better not be in your backpack
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
