He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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