The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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