Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
