lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
